^ When I defend social media managers, I don't include this turnip. Still a hilariously tasteless classic.
Whatever happened to the good old days when brands were just big faceless corporations that you could demonise without worry of any kind of repercussion? Nowadays, every big brand is armed to the teeth in social media managers, all of them lovely and friendly enough to help take the edge off the largely soulless company they represent. Post a disgruntled tweet (not necessarily tagging the company, mind) about a brand and you’ll be hunted down by a social media manager, with pleasantries already cocked and loaded.
Now, I immediately want to stress, I have nothing against the social media managers themselves. They’re doing a job that essentially amounts to acting as a thankless hate-sponge for all the consumer-spewed loathing out there. Their role is to play nicey-nicey so as to make those companies feel a bit less dystopian to Johnny and Johnina Public. But these virtual smile-mongers aren’t granted any power to actually do anything, in most cases. They’re part of the customer service chain, there to offer their condolences and pass a couple of tweets on to someone back at Big Brand HQ. As such, their well-meaning words are empty and impotent in terms of action. And yet, they can be oddly affecting.
All I really wanted to do was complain about how incredibly unreliable my ISP is (naming no names, but it’s helmed by a sentient goatee, begins with a ‘V’ and ends in ‘irgin Media’), before some incredibly efficient web-jockey told me that they were “sorry to hear that”, that they “hope” my issue was resolved soon and to “keep [them] posted”. Obviously I didn’t keep them posted, as I immediately felt a pang of guilt for being petty enough to throw a ranty little comment in to the meaningless void that is Twitter, like a disgruntled 13 year old who was short-changed on Yu-Gi-Oh! cards (that’s what the kids are in to these days, right?). Someone else’s politeness was a quick reminder of just how pointless it is to get annoyed enough by something to post about it on the internet.
Oh well, it could be worse. I could have spent several years writing an online blog about all the small and meaningless first world problems I feel personally offended by despite them having little to no bearing on my quality of life.