Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Monday, 14 January 2013

85. Video blogging

^ Got to hand it to this guy. He's got bollocks putting his face to something as offensively annoying as this awful excuse for viewing.

       I thought about being subversive and doing this entry as a video blog to showcase exactly what I hate about video blogs, but then there were plenty of reasons not to;

1) I’ve a face for radio / written word
2) sheer laziness
3) it’d be too dangerously hypocritical, even by my standards
4) because shut up, that’s why.

I know people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. However, at this point, if The List is any kind of glass house, its windows have been long since shattered by bricks of self-denying criticism and the structural integrity of the building is currently in grave question so I’m just going to continue lobbing things.

       Blogging allows slightly too many with nothing at all interesting to say a platform to subject an unwitting internet to their boring rambling (much like this blog dur hur hur hur etc.). Don’t get me wrong though, there are a tonne of incisive, well thought out blogs that have a consistent theme, interesting content and all that bollocks. But for every interesting blog, there are fifty that are essentially about nothing other than their author.

       This is something that has flourished to a nausea-inducing level in the world of video blogging; or, as the incredibly thick would put it, ‘vlogging’. It’s like every modern teen / childish twenty-something desperately clingy for internet fame and their nonsensical musical persona has a Youtube channel nowadays. On this, they will subject a potential internet audience to a variety of 'to camera pieces' where they talk about their day, their interests or something else stupid and essentially pointless to anyone other than themselves. 

       A lot of the time, our "vloggers" will pretend that they are actually hosting some kind of genuine show, as if they had any kind of relevant content to pad out their otherwise random sentences haplessly strung together. In the process of this, they'll adorn their webcam filmed visual vomit with logos, superimposed text and other scribbles that look like a five year old got their crayons out on the screen. They’ll also post-edit everything to absolute hell and back in an attempt to give their vapid speech some sense of momentum; maybe they’ll use the constant jumps in cutting as a way to add in a “hilarious” gag where they’re suddenly wearing a fedora, who knows! That's just how wacky they are!

       Amidst all the webcam yapping and glitzy after effects though, there is almost nothing left other than some self-involved young person’s ego making words and begging young Youtubers to follow them. If this is how entertainment and human interaction is evolving, we are absolutely doomed. I’m preparing my bunker as we speak.


  1. I don't know who you are but god damn, is this some TRUE shit! I am so tired of seeing these wanna-be weeaboo girls and these uninteresting grease stain guys all trying to rip off the few people who were somehow successful with "Vlogging". You have my respect good sir.

  2. An e-stranger's respect is all I could ever ask for.