Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Monday, 27 August 2012

81. Mobile phones

^ This is a photo of my phone that I have taken using my work phone. I despise my HTC phone as the touch screen never works. It took 10 minutes to type the above and for what? A pity laugh?

Radical viewpoint: mobile phones are one of the worst technological developments of the twentieth century.

        Okay, not quite. That's a slight embellishment on my part, but they are certainly over-rated. Practically, the mobile phone is a wonderful invention. I remember the days when you needed coins and a phone box to call someone when out and about – the ability to contact anyone from anywhere can be both liberating and useful.

        But more often than not, mobile phones become as shackling as cyber tagging. If you have a mobile phone, you're contactable everywhere. Everywhere. Whatever the situation, people can try to get a hold of you and frankly, it's a huge disruption to daily life. If you're in the middle of a task and someone rings you to benignly tell you what happened on X-Factor last night, you're not going to respond well. And you can’t just ignore the phone and claim “Oh, I was out so I didn’t know you called” because your phone is mobile. So you have to answer it and find the quickest way to tell your harasser to naff off so you can get back to watching your KISS documentary (or whatever normal people do to unwind, I don’t know).

        Smart phones are particularly awful. I'm not trying to sound like an old man, really, because I generally quite like technological advancement. But from a phone, all I want is the ability to make phone calls and text people. I do not want or expect my phone to crash because it’s trying to be super smart and help me out by telling me where the nearest Sam’s Chicken is. Just do what a phone is meant to do – not tweet, not check Facebook, not BBM, not Skype, not act like a substandard MP3 player, not give me obnoxiously loud updates on London 2012, not take photos of things drenched in sepia but just occasionally contact other people. And maybe play Snake.

        But you know what the very worst thing about mobiles is? They provide an excuse for being late due to the convenience they offer. Before, when you arranged to meet someone, you’d show up on time because you’d have no way to tell those you were meeting that you were running late. With mobiles, you no longer need to be punctual; you can offer running updates on the fact you left your house an hour late because you were too busy watching repeats of Scrubs. You’re no longer compelled to sort your life out and arrive on time for scheduled meets. And that, reader, makes you a selfish dolt. I hope you’re happy. 

No comments:

Post a Comment