Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

79. Other people's opinions on the news

^ It's like Bill Turnbull's eyes are saying "Kill me" as he slowly comes to the realisation that BBC Breakfast will never achieve the greatness of RI:SE when it was presented by Iain Lee. What a show.

         In my on-going descent to become a massive consumer whore, I recently decided to put a television in my bedroom, right next to my laptop. This is primarily so that I can watch DVDs of A Bit of Fry and Laurie whilst typing up mindless drivel like this, but every once in a while I watch live television (provided my aerial actually works; it’s about as reliable as an Greek bank). My main viewing time is in the mornings, when my mind isn’t really able to absorb information properly. And yet, even in this mental state of brain jelly, I find morning news programs so offensive that I end up leaving the house slightly more moody than when I woke up.

         If I’m watching a news report, do you know what I want to hear? I want to hear the news, shockingly. I want to hear the headlines and maybe a brief description of what these headlines are actually talking about. Maybe a couple of key details that would give me the basic gist of the story, but wouldn’t actually help me to solve the crime should I be called in to do so (as I am often am).

         Do you know what I don’t want to hear? What anyone other than the news reporter thinks. I do not want to hear the anchors inviting members of the general public to attempt to engage their brains and spew forth their appalling speculation and thinly-veiled agendas. I don’t want to hear Jane from Dorset twist a shoplifting in to a jab at people from outside the UK. I don’t want to hear Pete from London talk about how to fix the economy using only common sense and a potato. I don’t want to hear Llewellyn from Llanneli wax lyrical about how a lesbian couple attempting to adopt is amoral, against God and represents the gradual crumbling of society’s fabric. And I certainly don’t want to hear whatever ill-thought out, idiotically intolerant and increasingly insipid insight you have about the news. I just want the god damn news.

No comments:

Post a Comment