66. My lack of attention span when I try to work in the library

As a third year Anthropology student, I am currently writing a dissertation. For those of you who don't know what a dissertation is, it's basically a 10,000-12,000 sprawling diatribe about absolutely nothing. It is mind-numbing and pointless but in an attempt to actually get a degree, I've got to do it. And so it is with great dismay I drag myself to the university library everyday in an attempt to finish it (because if I sit at home and work, I end up playing that riff from 'Day Tripper' on guitar ad nauseum, briefly stopping to write entries for The List - take a guess at what I should be doing now!!). However, due to years of watching Ren & Stimpy, playing video-games that involve either shooting or punching things and a nasty coke habit*, I have the attention span of someone who doesn't have a very big attention span (what am I, the simile master?). To that end, working in the library is an extremely frustrating process for me, simply because I waste my time and never work efficiently. To demonstrate this point, here is a pie chart - click it to enlarge it, you knucklehead.

It will be a miracle if I end this year with a degree.

*This isn't what you think. I buy cans of regular Coke and, in an endeavour to avoid the horrific fuzzy teeth that come with drinking it, pour out lines of the caramelised liquid on a mirror and snort them through a bendy straw. Rock n' roll.