Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Sunday, 24 April 2011

62. Listening to people talk about their dreams

^ Nothing evokes the realism of a dream like Tommy Wiseau's disjointed mode of conversation.

This is a massively easy target, so I'll keep it short (also, I think I might have stolen the thrust of this from something I saw, but I can't for the life of me remember what - answers on a postcard, folks). Unless the dream involved any combination of the following a) awkward sex with people you know, b) sex with awkward people you know, c) manning a ginormous Japanese fighting robot, d) something funny involving people we mutually know and enjoy laughing at or e) all of the above*, it is not worth discussing with me or anyone else.

No one cares if you have a dream about someone they don't know doing something dull like playing checkers and then he suddenly transformed in to a moose but in the dream it seemed normal and you weren't surprised he had transformed in to a moose so you just accepted the fact he was now a moose and then you were in a classroom, but it made sense in the dream yada yada etc. etc. Dreams are nonsensical and for the most part, awfully monotonous. They can be entertaining / emotive / scary or whatever to the person who has them, but don't inflict them on anyone else. To people outside of the frightening mental scatter that is your mind, your monologued recollection of last night's dreams will make about as much sense as 'The Room' except without the entertainment factor of laughing at someone else's inability to act / direct / pace dialogue.

*Just to put a pleasant image in your head, 'all of the above' would consist of you in a Japanese fighting robot having awkward sex with your socially awkward friend whilst everyone else you both know points and laughs. Probably shouldn't share that dream with people, otherwise you will get sectioned.

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