Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Sunday, 6 March 2011

52. People who claim they "get" you.

^ These guys get each other. You get me?

Friends are great. Contrary to this misanthropic slice of internet I call The List, I really quite like some people in real life. For some reason or another we click - maybe they like sarcastic humour, perhaps they enjoy the 1980s, mayhaps they're massive nerds or possibly they engage me in lengthy discussions about the pros and cons of the Manic Street Preachers' discography. Different friends have different appeals and variety is the spice of life.

Amongst these friends, there will be a small group who really understand you - more so than anyone else seems to. I could probably count the ones who "get" me on one hand. Not that I'm belittling the others, they're all lovely too. But more than anything about someone who gets you is there is both a shared thought process and an ability to put yourselves in one another's shoes with relative ease. It's sort of like empathy on another level. You don't need to explain yourself all of the time, simply because they get where you're coming from. And so it is infuriating when someone who isn't of that caliber states that they get you. Because they don't.

If you're at a stage of friendship where you need to tell the other person that you get them, that you know what makes them tick and that you comprehend their reasoning, then you're merely clutching at straws to make your friendship seem more important than it is. The problem with claiming to get someone you don't is that you will forcefully project so many relentless beliefs upon them in an attempt to validate your claim - you'll act like you know what kind of things they like, you'll be shocked and offended when they tell you otherwise, you'll constantly ask them questions that reveal how little you actually know about them and you'll continue this process of making baseless assumptions of your victim in an ill-thought out attempt to make them think you're on the same level. You're not, you're just too blinded by your own desperation for real friendship to actually spend time getting to know them.

Close friends don't need to constantly reassure each other that they're close friends. It's that simple.

N.B. I have used the word "get" so many times in this entry that the entire word is beginning to lose all sense of meaning. I'm not even sure it meant anything in the first place now.

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