Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Sunday, 6 March 2011

51. Taking photos in club toilets

^ I thought it would be rude / possibly illegal to copy photos from Facebook acquaintances that exemplify my point so here is a deep and profound image that speaks volumes about the sheer futility of life in an adorable fashion.

I can't actually fathom this one. You're on a night out and, as has become almost too standard a procedure, someone has brought along a camera so you can ruthlessly document every aspect of the evening. Forget actually enjoying your night, it's far more important to show others you're having a wild night out by posing for photographs, uploading them all to Facebook and making it seem as if you live an active life and many friends. You don't and your complete obsession with visual validation on social networking sites is ridiculous. However, I'm willing to accept this happens a lot - photos of forced "good" times are standard affair. Whatevs. Cool beans.

Where things get a bit bizarre is when examining the location of the photo. Specifically, when you realise that the photo of the person on your Facebook news feed is of them in a toilet. Now, I'm ruthlessly opposed to gender stereotyping but this does seem to only ever occur with girls - mainly because if it occurred in a men's toilet, there would be a lot of... urinal usage and wang. I can understand taking photos out around the dance-floor, the bar, maybe even outside the club, but what about an area where people excrete bodily fluids and occasionally solids seems like a prime venue for photography? I don't care if there are cubicles, it's still odd.

A lot of these toilet based photos seem to involve mirrors and so I'm jumping to the possibly baseless conclusion that you want to take the "perfect" photo of yourself. Are you really so vain that you have to preen in front of your misleading reflection before you commit any image of yourself to camera? Are you that proud of your hideous fake tan, miscoloured lips, Snuffleupagus eyelashes and domestically abused hair? Just because you think you look perfect, doesn't mean anyone else does.

I think I kind of lost my train of thought there. You're grotesque and shouldn't take photos in the toilets. All of you. That'll do.

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