Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Sunday, 24 October 2010

31. Facebook relationship statuses

^ And the prize for creepiest status comment goes to Long Black Bar.

Facebook is a blessing and a curse in that it can be used to maintain contact with people you like and it can also remind you that there is absolutely no hope for humanity. One particular aspect of Facebook profiles that bothers me is that of the 'relationship status'. I don’t have a major problem with people being listed as ‘single’ or ‘in a relationship’. That's fine, if a little bit pointless / encouraging of further e-stalking. What does bother me is that those aren't the only options.

Firstly, we have 'in an open relationship' - no one cares if you and your partner are oh, so modern and confident in each other that your relationship is open to the addition of third parties or casual bits-on-the-side - the fact that you have to exert your dubious relationship arrangements on a large forum of people you (hopefully) know in the real world is creepy at best. Are you attempting to find your extras on Facebook? Even worse however is the the e-cry for attention that is 'it's complicated'. If your relationship status can only be described as ‘complicated’, why even bother putting up a status? Saying you’re ‘in a relation but it’s complicated’ is equivalent to walking up to a group of people and immediately interrupting with “OMG GUYS LAVISH ME WITH ATTENTION MY BOYFRIEND SOOOO DOESN'T GET ME”. I do not wish to lavish you with attention. Instead I wish for you to take a long walk off a very short pier. Whilst wearing concrete shoes.

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