Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

16. "Metal-heads"

^ Anyone who describes themselves as a "metal head" will probably make this "grim" pose at every photo opportunity

Okay, so you're a fan of Megadeth. Fair enough, they’re one of the leading pioneers of the thrash metal movement. So you grow your hair out, you rip some jeans, buy a leather jacket and generally look like you’ve walked out of the 1980s, presenting an image that is both incredibly un-trendy and effectively a parody of itself. That’s fine, you can look like what you want. Not that I can ever judge, I look somewhere between a member of Guns N’ Roses, a librarian and Snoopy.
However, when you become an elitist metal fan (usually, the self-titled "metal-head"), that's when you instantly become a bad person. First is the superiority complex that embodies metal-heads regarding their genre of choice, belittling every other musical style as below metal. But then, metal is hardly an original genre, founding itself on a white appropriation of the blues and like any musical style, it has been dependent on the influence of others to sustain it. Effectively, to play the “But that group isn’t METAL so they’re bollocks! Metal is the best genre out there YEAH FUCKING SLAYEERRRRRR” card is as pointless as a circle.
This entire thing is further exacerbated by the metal-head social circle (or what I have wittily dubbed "the socio-circle pit"). I understand the concept of having friends of similar taste, but "true" metal-heads will surround themselves exclusively with other "true" metal-heads. Through the aforementioned 'holier music taste than thou' attitude, metal-heads effortlessly project their unwillingness to deign themselves to the level of other music fans. The result? A group of friends who are as intolerant and insular as they are nerdy and desperately alone. At this point in your life, you may as well just introduce yourself to people as a narrow minded prick who has nothing better to do than sit in a dark room examining your vinyl collection of ‘true metal’ bands whilst multi-tasking the slagging off of anything that doesn’t depend on dual guitar leads on an internet forum and masturbating over pictures of barely passable girls wearing Iron Maiden t-shirts.