Some things in life serve only to induce rage. No matter how small these annoyances may be, they are never insignificant. 'Rant List' is the chronicle of one self-loathing narcissist's seemingly unending pettiness.

Saturday, 19 June 2010

13. People who "speak their minds"

^ Considering it looks like a child threw this picture up, it took a deceivingly long time

If those horrifying audition tapes they show at the beginning of any series of Big Brother have taught me anything, it's that society is comprised of numbskulls. Of course, this isn't entirely true as Big Brother utilises a very succinct selection process that cherry-picks only the most brain cell deprived individuals of Britain. In the process of several minutes of banal audition footage, these lobotomised would-be-humans extol their self-perceived virtues which almost always consist of nonsensical clich├ęs of cookie-cutter uniqueness. One of the worst offenders amongst the rambling list of what makes these people so "great" is the seemingly standard "I'm not afraid to speak my mind" - the snot-rag's code for "I'll vocalise whatever incomprehensibly ludicrous thought enters my head because I lack any form of self control".
What this amounts to is a never ending tirade of barely contemplated statements that the speaker throws out at random, masked by their own pretension of profoundness; their logic being that they are edgy and intelligent because they lack any concept of tact and the ability to mull over their thoughts before unceremoniously inflicting them upon other people. If I did that, everyone around me would privy to such gems as "if I put my laptop and speakers next to the TV and wear one of those beer-hats, I could play Sonic 3, get drunk, listen to Black Sabbath and look at boobs - I must be a genius". Of course, I'm not a genius, I'm just a weirdly efficient nerd. However, at least I don't "speak my mind" as I'm aware of the completely inanity of my embryonic thoughts. People who speak their minds are just too lazy to put any effort in to thinking about why they're an idiot.

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